So much to write about...

This ended up being really full of. I don't know. Emotions? Deep Thoughts? So, read on if you'd like but I don't even know if it makes sense or will just seem corny. The end is pretty cool though (the quote)

So, today was the last day of classes. I finished at 2. I got out a bit early, but I had to wait  for some of my sewing projects to get graded, so I ended up getting home at 2 like planned. I had some really great experiences today, and I don't want to forget them, so I am writing them here--hope you don't mind!

I had this AMAZING feeling as I was walking home (although it was hard because my arms were SO full of sewing supplies--we emptied out our drawer, sewing projects, laptop, etc.). I just felt like this semester from Hades was over. I did it. I accomplished something I viewed as hard and did it. I let myself feel good about me for once. I always feel like I'm too hard on myself internally. I think that is one of the many things that improved this semester. I did my best and I'm okay with it. (You should try it to. Be satisfied with your work--even if it's not perfect because it was all you had to give and that's all anyone (even teachers) can ask/expect.)

My last "final" was a presentation of our 11 week project. This is when the sense of euphoria started coming. My project was to become more happy through means of being productive/proactive. Reflecting back on it, I kind of realized I learned a lot about myself. Who would have thunk? You can learn stuff about you? That seems so odd to me, but it is amazing. Secondly, I realized the blessing it is to have had this 11 week project. I am going to try to do it for the rest of my life. That means I can improve myself, in very specific ways, 4 times a year! (Easily). 52 weeks=1 year. 1 project=11 weeks. 1 years=4.72.... projects. I figure, I won't probably do them for Christmas. I might want to take a break in between them to ponder what the next one should be, etc. I am so motivated for life. One of my weekly goals was to make a mission statement. WOW. Have you tried writing a mission statement? It was hard. You are supposed to try to figure something that it meaningful to you and something you can remember (to help reorganize the larger picture priorities). Mine ended up being: "Create a home: Good Spirit, Good Meals, Good Company." I have little things branching out from the three, but I made it simple to remember it easily. I want a good home that will have the warm fuzzy feeling and that feels like home to anybody who walks in. I want it to have the Spirit--doesn't have to be perfect but just full of people striving to improve and have Christ in their own life. The second may seem odd to most, but I have learned a lot about meals in my meal management class this semester and meal time has grown to mean a lot to me. I want my children to learn about it, too! Third, I want my home to be good company. Not only to other people but to each other. I hope to pass a "legacy" of being happy with life. This semester was SO hard for me. Not just for classes, but I went through a lot of personal struggles and finding myself mixed with other really personal things. On top of that, I added an extra curricular activity. I was on the FCS committee. I was elected as the chair elect which means I also tied myself down for next semester. And next semester I added a job--oh, boy. I just like to make things more difficult. I wrote down some ideas from other girls and their projects. I am excited to try and set goals for next semester. I know I can do it! :)

After class, I went to talk to my teacher. This class was hard for me beg-mid semester. I had a lot on my plate. I wanted to apologize for everything, mostly express my regret that I hadn't learned as much as I wanted to. I would have been perfectly content to take this class on its own. My teacher told me that her along with another teacher of mine had been talking about me earlier. *What was I to think? I was like oh, man.....* Much to my surprise, she said they discussed my growth this semester. To see that it was realized put me in a state of awe because I didn't even realize it. Those words, along with Kayleen's (and Camille's) in a sense, just lifted a burden. I came home light as a feather. I have changed. I have improved. I have accomplished.

I cannot express in words the feeling I had, but I loved it. I am so grateful for everybody who is in and has been in my life. I have grown from everybody and everything that has happened. I really love this quote that Katie (I think) shared as part of her 11 week project:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)